I started my IVF Journey in Nov 2014. After my eggs extraction, I was told by my doctor that my hormonal level was at the border line of the ideal for pregnancy. Since I had 12 embryos developed, my husband and I decided to transfer our 2 best fresh embryos. My stomach was still bloated from the ovarian stimulation and it wasn't a nice feeling after my 1st embryo transfer.
I read online that some said we should take bed rest for 3 days but some said we can go back to work right after transfer. My doctor advise me to take it free and easy for 3 days. Those 3 days was not easy at all because I was so obsessed with my body and was busy searching online to see what people said about their embryos implantation symptoms. Yes, I know you can relate to that!!!!
After my 3 days off, I went back to work as usual. 2 days before my beta test, my period came while I was in the office which meant my 1st transfer was not successful. I could not hold back my tears and went to cry in the office toilet. Only a few people knew I was doing IVF, so I hid my sadness. I knew my colleagues, friends and family cared about me but sometimes their sympathy could be an additional pressure if I had to repeat my sad story to many people.
I told my husband about our failed embryos implantation when I got home in a very casual manner. We just have to try it again as planned. There was no point for me to spread the negative vibes to my husband as I didn't want him to tell me it's ok to give up. I was not going to give up until I had really tried my best. Yes, I felt lonely but i had to picked myself up and move forward. I needed to avoid the negativity around me.
I took a few months break before I did my 2nd FET in Mar 2015. I am a positive person and always look at the bright side. This time I had a better idea on how to manage my feeling if it failed again.
The main difference between my first and second embryo transfer was I didn't feel uncomfortable like the first time because my ovary had recovered while for the first one, I transferred my embryos after ovarian stimulation.
I took 2 weeks leave after my 2nd FET. My plan was to do 1 week bed rest and 1 week local beach holiday. The local beach holiday was for me to calm my mind before the beta test. If it failed, at least I had a happy holiday before any sad news again.
Well let's talk about my first week at home for bed rest. During my 1st FET, I was so symptom obsessed after reading so many people's comments about inplantation symptoms. There were many people who didn't realise they were pregnant until they missed their period. All the little things that some people felt such as cramps or sore boobs could have been due to the taking of progesterone. My 2nd FET, I didn't have any symptoms.
So this time around I made some plans.
Things that I did to pass time
1. I watched my favourite series Walking Dead again.
2. I planned what to eat in Penang Island (at northwest coast of Malaysia) for my coming beach trip. The island has a lot of great hawker food.
3. I took nap every few hours. Very often in the past I told myself I needed a day off to just do nothing but always ended up having something that I needed to do. Due to IVF, I had a valid reason to tell myself it's ok to drop everything and enjoy my quiet time.
4. I found a youtube channel (It's Julie's life) which I enjoyed watching. She was a mummy vlogger who talked about her makeup passion and her daily life with her 3 girls.
5. I looked for some positive IVF journey blogs to read to help me stay positive.
6. I made a list of things that I can do without kids, such as more dive trips, early retirement.....etc. This was to remind myself that my life could be just as interesting if my IVF failed.
My do's and don'ts
1. Wore socks to keep your feet warm
2. Don't take too hot a shower
3. Drink 2 litres of warm water everyday
4. Take recommended dosages of multi vitamins and fold acid
5. Don't consume cold drinks or food
6. Don't carry heavy stuff
7. Eat healthy
8. I don't exercise
9. Don't eat raw food
10. No alchohol and caffeine
While we were on the road trip to Penang, I could not remember what my husband did that irritated me. I was so mad at him and needed to find a way to release my anger badly, so I kicked his car dashboard. Now I look back, it was quite funny! He was shocked at that time and said I was crazy....... hmm, something was not right, I never felt so mad at him like this before. We bought a pregnancy test kit at a shop nearby our hotel but he wanted to wait to do the test because it may spoilt the mood of our holiday. However I quietly did my urine test in the middle of night on day 11th and those magical 2 lines appeared............